Of all the things we experience while dealing with cancer, few are more interesting than the dynamics of the oncology waiting room. It is a society unto itself, and is subject to all of the quirks we see in traditional settings, with a few twists that are uniquely a waiting-room phenomenon.

The first thing you notice is that cancer is truly pervasive. Its effect is universal. Cancer doesn’t respect age, gender, race, size, or ethnicity. Often, you feel as though you have stumbled into a small United Nations session.

What you have really done is move into a new neighborhood.

Like a lot of neighborhoods, there are no secrets. (Remember “Harper Valley”?) But here, it’s not who’s doing what to whom. It’s whose body is doing what, when. Body parts and functions are discussed openly. First-timers might be taken aback to hear some of the talk. You don’t usually hear middle-aged black women asking elderly white men about their bladder or bowel function! But they quickly get used to it, and in most cases, end up participating. Modesty takes a back seat to frankness in this neighborhood.

During these talks, a lot of information is exchanged, and a lot of emotional support is shared. The information will help someone else cope with the physical effects of the disease or the treatment. The emotional support helps with the psychological effects of battling cancer.

Cancer treatment tends to follow a pattern, and folks who are in treatment will see the same people on roughly the same schedule. Magazines are borrowed on one treatment day, and returned on another. Pictures are shared, and family stories are told. Around holidays, we all find out who’s coming home, and what the plans are.

You can see that it’s not all doom and gloom - - - not by a long shot. Cancer patients are among the most self-deprecating people around. Jokes about appearance and ability are standard. And real fun is listening to two guys arguing about whose veins are in better shape, and who will finish the chemo first. Then, in the chemo room, they bet two dollars on the race!! All they need are bleachers and cheerleaders to complete the image. That’s funny, and that’s healthy!

Newcomers arrive for their first appointment not knowing what to expect. Most are in turmoil. That’s understandable. Their world has been rocked! A cancer diagnosis brings out all the things one would expect - - fear, concern, confusion, uncertainty, and more.

What lies ahead? What is going to happen to me? What is going to happen to my family? For a time, you feel very, very alone.

Much of that anxiety dissolves shortly after entering the waiting room and checking in. Newcomers are welcomed, and included in the group. They quickly become members of a new family. It is interesting, and reassuring, to watch a patient who came in feeling all the things noted above. Then, after two or three visits, they are welcoming the new arrivals. They are providing the same embrace that they received not long before. Life, and support, continues.

Tell us your waiting room story.
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